


There's a Weird New Kid

by Japo_Chan23



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Ew, High School, M/M, MM, Oneshot, Swearing, cotton candy and hunters au, mentions of bullying, monogamous relationship, new kid, nothin against polyamory tho i'm all for it lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 13:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14333619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Japo_Chan23/pseuds/Japo_Chan23
Summary: Some random kid that's dressed like a pink nintendo ds catches Jared's eyes, and honestly, that kid is gonna get destroyed by himself. Rest in peace, mate.





	There's a Weird New Kid

**Author's Note:**

> also posted on the deh amino. I'm tired. someone please post all my fanfics

Evan Hansen wasn’t surprised to hear that there was a new student this year. In fact, the new student supposedly had a sister in junior year. That he didn’t care for, and didn’t put much thought into it. Evan did expect the new student to be at least be popular, or somewhere in the middle, though. 

“Hey- yoohoo? Earth to Evan Hansen?”

“What is it, Kleinman?” Evan frowned, looked down at his hipster friend. They were a weird pair, really. With his punk, emo looking ass and Jared’s tumblr, “I listened to them before they were cool”, vibe, it seemed like they wouldn’t even be around each other. Evan doubted that they would be if their mothers weren’t friends with each other in high school. Chances were, Evan would've been too anxious to speak to Jared, and the latter being too intimidated to converse with Evan. Whatever. C’est la vie, as they say. 

Rolling his eyes, Jared placed his hands on Evan’s face, before forcefully turning the blonde’s head, earning him a sharp “what the hell Jared”, which Jared ignored. “Look over at pinky over there.” Nodding his head towards the guy who was wearing a hell of a lot of pink, Jared removed his hands from Evan’s face. “Heard that’s the new kid, and he’s a senior! Harsh, man,” Jared winced, shaking his head.

“He’s not going to survive,” Evan mumbled, resting his elbow on Jared’s shoulder, grinning when the shorter of the two groaned before shoving him. 

“Like hell he is! He’s going to get his ass kicked, without mercy!” Jared exclaimed, making hand gestures around him, and in the general area that the scowling pastel boy was at. “He may look pissed, and if he dressed like you  _ maybe _ people would be scared of him, but he isn’t going to survive here!” 

Humming, Evan stole Jared’s beanie off of his head, just to mess up his oily, brown locks. He always accused Jared of having a shit ton of dandruff, but he would always get the response of, “it’s just dead skin cells, chill out emo”.

It was comedic, really. 

With a shout, Jared pushed a giggling Evan while snatching his hat back, slipping it back on with practiced ease. Didn't even look like someone took it off in the first place. “This is serious, Evan! You know that we wouldn't have survived  _ this  _ long in high school without each, right?” Jared scowled, shoving his hands into his letterman jacket (it was just black and white. Evan found it funny how it was the colors of the rival team) with a small huff. “There's a fucking  _ pink Nintendo DS  _ on legs right there! And he's a  _ senior _ ! Dude’s gonna get his ass whooped!” Dropping his voice down a notch, he pushed himself closer to the anxiety ridden man next to him. “One moment he's leaving his pizza by itself in the lunchroom to get napkins, the next thing you know the kids who bring sauces to school are lifting the cheese up to put sriracha on the tomato sauce and ruin a white boy’s tongue.” 

The sad part about that statement was that  _ actually _ happened a few years ago. To Jared, specifically, before they actually spent all their time together. Sighing, he rubbed his forehead. Sriracha wasn't even that bad, but whatever, Jared just couldn't handle spicy or hot stuff for some reason. “What do you want me to do about it then, Jared? In case you forgot, I still have  _ anxiety _ , and I’m still pissed like, seventy-five percent of the time,” Evan said, placing his hand on his hip while he left the other hand still at his side. 

“I don't know, protect him? Start a threesome with him?” Jared snorted. “Just help me not let him die before June,” he finished, grabbing Evan’s hand. “I know you hate PDA, but fuck come on? We can have friends, as much as you hate them,” he smirked.

Smug bastard. “Fine,” Evan grumbled, letting Jared drag him over to the new kid with a grin plastered on his face. The things he did for that asshole. “And really? A threesome? You know I’m monogamous,” he said, rolling his eyes. 

“I know,” Jared chirped back. Evan could smell the smugness. It was terrible. “I also know that you're pretty much mine, soooo.” Jared squeezed Evan’s hand, before letting go. “There he is,” he whispered, nodding his head towards the pastel boy. “Let's go on over and say something, pretty boy.”

Rolling his eyes, Evan elbowed his boyfriend in the side as he took long strides towards the angry boy. It didn't really match, in Evan’s opinion. Being angry while dressing like a pink Nintendo DS as Jaded had said. “Hey.” Cringing internally, Evan stuck his hands into his pockets, fingers pitching at the fabric. “I’m Evan, Evan Hansen. This is my boyfriend, Jared,” he introduced, jutting a thumb towards the aforementioned.

“‘Sup new kid?” Jared jerked his head up in greeting. 

The new kid smiled brightly at them, revealing crooked, yellowed teeth. “I’m Connor Murphy!” 

And that was it for a few minutes; Evan rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, Jared bouncing on the balls of his feet, and Connor gnawing at his bottom lip excessively.

“Well,” Jared coughed, clearing his throat, “this is extremely awkward. I would say I didn't see this coming, but I did, soooo, how would you, Connor Murphy, sir, like to join this lovely duo of ours? Make it a threesome,” the man grinned, putting emphasis on the wink. 

Sighing, Evan pushed Jared, and interrupted Connor before he could say anything. “Please don't say yes- Jared uh, Jared’s polyamorous, but I’m not, so sorry to um, disappoint, or whatever.” Huffing, Evan pinched the bridge of his nose, before waving his hand in the air, as if dismissing something. “It's fine, though. Sorry, again. We can all still be friends though! Just um, not boyfriends- no threesome, sorry.” Evan coughed into his hand.

Connor had a hand covering his mouth, the corners of his eyes crinkling somewhat, making his eyes appear smaller as he attempted to stifle his laughter. “No no, it's fine, it's fine! I’m not looking for a relationship anyways, at all, I’m aromatic.” Connor shrugged, before placing his hands into his pocket.

“Cool, cool,” Evan mumbled. 

“So, Murphy, we’ll catch ya later, right? We can totally hang sometime, promise we won't third wheel you.” Jared patted Connor’s arms, before placing his hands on his hips.

“Pfft, yeah okay,” Connor scoffed.

“Well, see ya later new kid!” Saluting the taller man, Jared grabbed Evan’s hand, quickly running off into one of the hallways, leaving his boyfriend sputtering before shouting a quick ‘later Connor’.

Fun times.    
  


**Author's Note:**

> highkey hate this, bye. Poorly written because I gave up on it halfway through, but managed to complete it with complete and utter bullshit.


End file.
